MMORPG Jokes

Slight miscalculation

2007-10-16T06:15:00.000-07:00

Aerich, Human - Level 10 Bard

Well, I've come to a temporary dead end in the Fellowship of Light quest, needing to go to a nearby mountain, and not feeling up to the task. I did, however, kill quite a few moat rats. I'm not up to the Dread camps, though... I actually tried to go after the shield of Fellowship quest. I killed everything, got all the way to the top of the West tower, and then Bonebreaker lived up to his name. I came to back by the South tower, minus some experience. I decided to just putter for a while and make up the lost experience, then decided to call it a night.

Sing a happy tune!

2007-10-15T06:14:00.000-07:00

Aerich, Human - Level 8 Bard

Galiendra gave me a hand. Actually she just gave me a ton of armor. And a decent weapon for when I hit level 6 and started dual wielding. My songs don't work like songs, more like spells. However, instead of getting better at abjuration and conjuration, I'm just getting better at singing. Who knew?

Actually, the offhand weapon Galiendra gave me was soon surpassed when I found a longsword of Wisdom on some skeleton I killed... that's better than what I had. Before that I was using an obstinate light pick. I went through the Sword of Fellowship quest in one try. I entered the tower level seven and came out level eight. I killed everything in that tower. I didn't miss a single enemy.

Soon I'll start taking on moat rats and then, goodie, I get to start camping the dread stalkers. Maybe get even more dread armor. Nothing will match the efficiency of Galiendra cleaning those damn camps out, however. She can clean out all three camps in under ten minutes. Her flying Tiger kick will wipe out an entire camp if they get close enough.

BIG WALL TIME

2007-10-15T05:52:00.000-07:00

Galiendra, Halfling - Level 15 Monk, Level 5 Druid

Okay, learned several things.

Free version not only has a level 5 cap for secondary professions, but a level 15 cap for primary. So here I am, as powerful as I can possibly become... although, that's nothing to sneeze at. I am unstoppable! Well, not quite.

I also decided to secondary as a Druid. That was a mistake. Druids can't learn healing spells! Rangers can, oddly enough. Oh well.

I have a wicked collection of dread armor, including an amulet, a belt, a bracer, and a freaking earring.

Oops. Gotta go.

A change in pace

2007-10-11T16:35:00.000-07:00

Message from Mike: Because Jess and I are without internet, and I hate playing it on the iBook, I'm temporarily without Minions of Mirth online access... however, it can be played single player without an internet connection! So, from the player world of Jericho, I give you:

Galiendra, Halfling - Level 10 Monk

Yeah, that's right. I'm kicking ass, taking names, and what all. I've got my rat tail belt, the swift fist (the first Monk ring) and a rat fur bracer. Both the bracer and ring are "Premium" artifacts, so I can't really use them. Someday I will, however. It's rather funny. I've gotten this far and I haven't used a single advancement point yet. I think I'm waiting for something big to happen, whatever that may be. I've done the south tower quest for the Sword of the Fellowship (not that I'll use it), but I still have to do the West tower quest for the shield (not that I'll use that either). Then I'm hoping to collect some dreadscale, and then I'm going to try my hand in the Trinst Sewers... Somewhere down there is the second ring, and by God, I will have them all someday. Even if I can't use them.

Yeah... and I have to go to Mount Zharim or whatever it is called. Not looking forward to THAT jaunt.

So far I have my basic attack, my kick attack, "Rescue" which only allows me to help others, and since I'm alone here, it's not going to get used that much. I have invigorate which completely heals me in a pinch, stoneskin which massively increases my resistance to physical damage, and Dragon Kick, which instantly does 600 damage to anybody close enough. I ususally take down Stinker in one attack with this little gem... too bad the reload time on it sucks.

Well... that was a dull evening

2007-10-09T21:19:00.000-07:00

Liandra, Human - Level 10 Revealer, Level 4 Monk

I got to the same freaking point as the others in the Fellowship of Light quest - have to make a run to Mount Whatsitcalled. I also spent some time killing moat rats, including killing Stinker, the Moat rat leader. He did manage to kill me once, however. I also died during my one and only attempt at attacking the camp where I could get more dreadscale. I have some dreadscale Mokuba gave me... still not talented enough to fix it, though.

I got lucky and my second bat for the night dropped a fang - the reward was information regarding the locations of the second and third rings, as well as the first ring itself! Only one problem. You guessed it - I have to be a "Premium" something-or-other to equip it! My damage has gotten better. I'm not sure if it is because my fist skill has improved or because my Monk level has increased. Oh well. It's going to be tough once I resume gaining levels as a Revealer. I don't learn any new spells until 15... and I was hoping to go into the Trinst Sewers in search of the second ring... oh well.

Not exactly mind blowing

2007-10-09T06:06:00.000-07:00

Liandra, Human - Level 10 Revealer, Level 1 Monk

I decided to go a different route from my companions. I decided that being able to defend myself bare handed was the way to go. Only one problem - I suck at it. Oh sure, my skill levels in fists and dual wield are improving rapidly, but I'm taking a tidy bit of damage in the process. I do have my first Monk quest, however. There are six monk rings. Before I can learn about how to get the first three, I have to prove myself by collecting certain items. I have three of these items, but I'm missing a bat fang, and I'll be damned if they aren't rare drops. I got tired and headed home for the night, but I'll try to look for one tomorrow.

Less than expected

2007-10-07T13:42:00.000-07:00

Mokuba, Dwarf - Level 11 Barbarian, Level 5 Shaman

Being a level 5 shaman is worth less than I had hoped. I have two heal spells, neither of which does a whole lot. I have a couple of buff spells, (Panicked Pace - faster running; Protection from Fire, Endurance) my summon food and water combo, and exactly one offensive spell. That spell is a very weak DoT disease spell, and the range on it is only 20 meters. I've almost gotten better bowshots at this point!

However, I got myself that rat tail belt that Deacon got. And - even better - I've gone through the Stalker camp three times now, and I have Dreadscale sleeves, tunic, leggings, and gloves. Now if only I could get the boots, helm, and cape. And it just so happens that I am skilled enough in repair that I can fix dreadscale. It costs a ton, but it has payed off in extra protection, not to mention further increasing my repair skill. I even have plenty of extras that I'm going to give to the others!

The three of us need to buckle down and start tossing things out of the bank. There's no room for all the crap we have!

Something Different

2007-10-07T07:02:00.000-07:00

Mokuba, Dwarf - Level 10 Barbarian, Level 2 Shaman

Deacon was telling me about his Multi-classing experience, and I decided to give it a try. I looked through the tomes we had in the bank that make spells more powerful, and decided that becoming a bard was probably my best bet... until I found out that Dwarves can't be bards. Apparently our fingers are too stubby and our beards get caught in the harpstrings. After a bit of mulling over, I decided to go with Shaman. I didn't have any power-up tomes for Shaman spells under level five, but I figure, we've got one Cleric, so it's time to diversify... plus I wanted to be able to heal myself. If we ever do upgrade to premium or whatever that is, I'll be able to summon animal pets to help me in battle... that'll be so freaking sweet!

I got to the same point in the Fellowship of light quest as Deacon... needing to travel to that damn mountain. Not going to risk that yet, let me tell you. I've decided to work solely on gettin my Shaman skills to fifth level so I can stop worrying about it. THEN I'll resume becoming the bad-ass barbarian I was meant to be!

The other day I dropped a HUGE chunk of change buying a bow, some arrows, a fletching kit, and the stuff to make more arrows... the only problem is, with an Archery ability of 1, my arrows only go about 5 inches. I can't actually shoot anybody until they're on top of me! So much for hoping it would help me pull enemies from a distance. I don't know if I'll ever be able to get Dreadscale.

One other nice thing: as a Shaman, I can summon food and drink. No more pricey trips to the inn!

Flying High... into a wall.

2007-10-06T22:40:00.000-07:00

Deacon, Elf - Level 12 Cleric, Level 5 Warrior

So, I was questing a-plenty today. I got from 8 to 11, then I decided to try Multi-classing. I trudged my way up to level 12 as a Cleric and 5 as a Warrior. I have the Sword of the Fellowship, the Shield of the Fellowship, a rat-tail belt, two "rare" drop wristbands that are really awesome (even if I can't use them without upgrading to premium - stupid mystical messages) And I'm rocking out. Unfortunately, I can ONLY get my Warrior skills up to level 5 without switching to premium. That REALLY ticks me off, since level 6 is when Warriors get dual wield! Argh!

It took me two tries to do the Sword of the Fellowship quest. The first time, everything went wrong. The second time, everything went right. I also have a quest to take the Trinst Seal to some lady on Mount Zharim, but I think that going there would be like suicide at this point. Oh well. I am high enough level now that I could start exploring the Trinst sewers, or perhaps killing Dread casters for Dread armor pieces. Who knows?

Oh yeah, the others totally eat my dust!

Update: I did manage to get Deadscale gloves, leggings, and tunic, but my repair skill isn't high enough to fix the damage on them!

The birth of... something...

2007-10-06T13:14:00.001-07:00

Balthazar Bone, Level 8 Undead Warrior

So, apparently some Human Revealer "unlocked the Undead Monster Template" and that doing so doesn't "count against her max number of characters" or something like that. I was born as a level 3 warrior. Probably to make up for the fact that I had no equipment, no armor, no weapons, no guildlord. I've slowly accumulated the things I need, though I'd still love a pair of pants... the question is, do I belt them tightly around my spine, or just tight enough to sit atop my hip bones? Who knows.

I found out that there is actually a "monster town" that I can get to... on the other side of the world. Why in the hell would I start in Trinst? Just because that Revealer chick is there? But I'm aggro for EVERYBODY in the town! Smart thinking, guys.

I've worked my way up, and I'm glad that, instead of questing to learn new skills, I'm getting them automatically at the appropriate level. One convenience of being dead, I guess.

I sent out a message asking if anybody had some armor to spare. This guy tried to give me a bunch of chain mail, then asked for 1pp in exchange! I don't have that kind of money! Even if I did, I could buy that stuff in town for a handful of silver (assuming I could survive the trip.)

Anyway, it was an exciting first day. Later.

Grinding

2007-10-04T04:24:00.000-07:00

Mokuba, Level 8 Dwarf Barbarian

So, I'm trudging along and I get myself up to level 8, learning a skill called "rescue" at level 7 which apparently only works when in a group, and "riposte" at level 8. Then I ran out of beverages, and I decided to head to the tavern to buy some more drinking water. While there, i find out that a few quests are available: clear out a dust mite infestation in the upper levels, or make food deliveries for the Barkeep. I decided to make the deliveries since I knew exactly where the first customer was. The second delivery, however, I have no idea where this guy is. I thought somebody mentioned the western city gate, but I all found there was a swarm of undead. Seriously, a swarm. Oh well.

On another note, we decided that we WOULD ask Liandra's friend to join us, but as soon as we decided to do so, Liandra fell into a trance and told us, "Minions of Mirth Free edition has a limit of three characters per account. Upgrade to Premium for only twenty nine ninety five to raise the limit to 24, as well as allowing you to play as the Legions of Darkness." I have no idea what she meant, but Deacon was fairly sure that it meant we're stuck with just the three of us. Too bad.

Also, I recouped quite a chunk of our expenses yesterday. I was selling Iron Helms for as much as 48 silver, making back a huge chunk of what we had spent of Deacon's money. I can't figure out, however, why they were paying me so much for them... but I'm not complaining!

Best news of all: I was in the combatant's guild and I found a guy willing to teach me dual wield! It only cost me a few silver!

Not exactly my finest hour

2007-10-02T19:29:00.000-07:00

Deacon, Level 6 Elf Cleric

So I worked my way up to level five, and then I found myself in a most peculiar situation. I would level up, then die and lose experience, thus returning to level four, then kill something to level up, then die again and level down. This happened about three or four times before I got a decent foothold and built up some forward momentum. I hate black bears. Level six now, and the same thing happened... fortunately, only once. Gotta go. Good hunting at dusk. I should check for new spells, too.

Deacon, Level 8 Elf Cleric

Update: I really hit a rhythm after making level six. Now I'm level 8. I have a direct damage spell I got at level 6, plus another healing spell, a group armor spell, and an Area effect version of my level 6 spell. Chaining the two spells together allows me to cast almost nonstop. Against undead it IS nonstop - I just add in my undead smiting spell thingy.

Oh yeah, I now have a light spell. What's really nice is that I had the level 2 upgrade to it before I actually got the spell, so I upgraded the moment I learned it. I also found a ring that gives me +1 cold resistance, and some chain pants with bonuses attached... extra armor class and I think a resist bonus too. I'm dead beat for tonight, however. I'm calling it a night.

PS This now means that Mokuba is the lowest level out of the three of us. He's gonna be pissed! Also, we've been thinking about asking a friend of Liandra's to join our loose association. I think it would be a good idea to get an assassin or ranger in on this.

Warp Speed!

2007-10-02T04:18:00.000-07:00

Liandra, Level 6 Human Revealer

Mokuba and Deacon took the night off last night to go fishing. I killed stuff. A lot of stuff. I got to level three and learned my fear spell (which I have yet to use.) Then at Level 4 I dropped a hefty chunk of change to learn "Vortex of Pain" which is freaking awesome! Then at level five I was finally able to learn the warp spell that I started out with. I don't dare use it, however, since I don't know how to get back from the desert it will warp me to, and I don't learn the spell to warp back to Trinst until level 10. In the mean time, I'm having an awesome time. I pick out an enemy, cast Disrupted Thoughts (slows movement, slows casting time, lowers magic resistance, 40+ damage), then I cast Vortex of Pain (75+ damage normally, 105+ with the lowered magic resist!) and if that doesn't do it, then I tack on Oppression (40+ damage, 70+ with lowered magic resist.) It's so much fun. I got myself a cheap set of bronze armor - the best thing I can wear. Now I'm level 6 and loving it! I'm just sad that after level five, I get one spell at level 8 and then 4 teleport spells at level 10, but nothing that will do more damage. Oh well. I'm more powerful that Deacon and Mokuba right now!

On a side note: never accidentally cast fear on your guild leader. They don't take it well - he hit me once for over 750,000 damage.

Break in the action

2007-10-01T06:23:00.000-07:00

Mokuba, Level 5 Dwarf Barbarian

Liandra had a good idea. We took yesterday off and visited her village to do some seaside fishing. Great time. It started raining, but that just made the fishing better, so we stuck it out. Apparently Liandra wants to go kill more stuff tonight, but she has invited Deacon and I to hang out here any time. Deacon is trying to convert the locals, not noticing that a wave of chuckling follows wherever he goes. Why can't he just relax and enjoy his vacation?

Sarcasm doesn't translate

2007-09-30T19:35:00.000-07:00

Liandra, Level 2 Human Revealer

I bought a second level 1 offensive spell that both damages and lowers resistance to magic. Paired with my other offensive spell it really rips bad guys a new one. The one problem is that I'm getting crap for experience. I don't know if because I'm fighting weaker enemies or because I'm nuking them instead of engaging in hand to hand. Oh well.

The other thing that ticks me off is that, instead of getting a great weapon and decent armor from my guildmaster (like some OTHER people I could mention) all I got was a mediocre staff! No armor at all! I don't know if I should just buy some more armor, or if I should seek out armor giving quests. I don't even know if there ARE any armor giving quests around here.

I don't know if I have the energy to kill any more stuff right now. I might just have to take the day off. Maybe I'll go fishing.

A New Hope

2007-09-29T10:34:00.001-07:00

Liandra, Level 1 Human Revealer

A long time ago in a galaxy far away...

WAIT! It was a small fishing village on the coast only two weeks ago. What am I talking about?

I get a letter from Deacon telling me that he and his pal Mokuba will share financial resources with me if I start using my magic mojo to fight evil. I don't really give a crap, but i've got a balloon payment on the house in a few months, so I figure I'll give it a try.

I make my way to Trinst with a set of clothing, a teleport spell, a direct damage spell, a mana regen spell, and a spell that makes enemies nearsighted. Can you say, "useless," boys and girls?

I dunno. Maybe once I talk to my guild leader I'll feel better about all of this. Laters.

Much better.

2007-09-29T09:33:00.000-07:00

Mokuba, level 5 Dwarf barbarian

So, I get a letter from my friend Deacon telling me to look for a guy named Czeko to sell my broken skulls, and promising that my money problems will be over. Czeko happens to have left for the day, however. I'm just about to let loose a string of expletives when I notice that I have access to Deacon's money stash. I'll contribute when I can, of course, but in the mean time, I'm pimping myself out with all new stuff. Even splurged on some Platinum greaves! Now to find Czeko so I can sell MY seven broken skulls... but if they're worth that much to him, maybe I should hang on to one or two. Hmm....

And we're off!

2007-09-29T09:30:00.000-07:00

Deacon, Level 4 Elf Cleric

So, I'm trudging along at level two, minding my own business when Some guy named Czeko announces he's buying broken skulls for 1 plat each!!! I'm freaking excited, and I bring him my two, and go back to him every time I find more, ending up with 6 platinum! I replaced my armor, bought some new spells, and now, I'm freaking on top of the world. Now I've made level four, and I've got a spell to make me run faster, and my next level healing spell. Eat it, suckaz!

No start at all.

2007-09-28T20:57:00.000-07:00

Deacon, Level 1 Elf Cleric

I tried. Really, I tried. I wandered for hours trying to kill something. Kill anything. But no, I just kept dying and respawning outside Trinnst. After days I finally noticed that I had some spells in my backpack I could memorize, but too late. All of my dying meant my armor and weapons were in pieces. I beseeched my diety, whose name escapes me at the moment, to reincarnate me as myself. I died eternally and started over as an Elf Cleric named Deacon... just like before. This time, however, I'll try not to suck quite so much...

And I didn't! I memorized my spells right away: minor heal, summon food, summon beverage, and some kind of smite undead thingy. Then I managed to find my way to the cleric guild and turn in my magical goblet, thus receiving a nifty breastplate and a kickin' two hand bash staff! And now, I can actually kill things! (Only as long as they are undead. Regular stuff I still can't do enough damage.) I can't wait for level two! More spells!

Rough Start

2007-09-28T18:26:00.000-07:00

Mokuba, Level 5 Dwarf Barbarian

So, I've been chugging away for a few days now. I've been mostly killing skeletons, a giant spider here or there. Just earlier today I killed my first two giant dust mites. I've even picked up a spare sword, which is good since my first one has been worn down to about as sharp as my aunt Greta's face (not counting her nose.) The only problem is that I've already worn the new one down just as much... and I've lost my boots, my shirt, my sleeves, and my pantaloons. They've all been worn down to tatters.

I've only today made enough money to buy replacements, and that's just because one skeleton dropped a jade sailor's ring. Made me a tidy 19 coppers... just enough to get a new sword and a nifty leather jerkin.

I made level 5 today and learned my Rage skill. Haven't tried it out yet, however. Sucky thing is, I can now use heavy armors, and that crap ass leather and cloth number cost me everything I own. Hate to be a newb, but I'm tempted to start panhandling. I'm still a bit nervous about taking on bats. I have traumatic memories of being level 1. Still haven't walked more than three hundred keplans from the city gates.

Oh yeah, and I'm really sick of finding magic scrolls that I can neither use nor sell!